“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
- Douglas Adams
Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/

I’ve started to get scared again. Regarding the future. I want a real career, and not just some shitty minimum wage job. But I can’t do the regular jobs. I want something different. I guess we all do, more or less. I’m a hundred percent certain I want to move to Ireland in three years, and I guess I ought to just take it easy and see what happens, because I’m probably (hopefully) not as scared, in three years, as I am now. I’m just so scared that I’m gonna grow old and not have anything to be proud of, but I’m too scared now to try. I have too low ecspectations for myself, and this is really a problem for me. God… what do I do!?




Time to show some love and appreciate these heroes.

Firefighters are some badass mutha fuckas

firefighters are incredibly under appreciated, this is sadly the first appreciation post to them and we need more of these, they literally walk through hell to pick up people and pull them out, they are all Castiels if all civilians are Deans, and they save animals, treating all like humans, i have never heard of a firefighter that has chosen not to save someone for there race or sex or sexuality or anything, a human is a human and an animal is an animal, i love these people and they don’t deserve to be ignored as much as they are

Youtube. And Youtubers.


I wanna talk about something. It’s kinda depression and kinda not. 
When i met my ex girlfriend, almost.. 5 years ago, I kinda was in a stage of my mind, where everything was so new to me. I felt in love. Actually, for the first time in a girl, and she of course felt in love with me to. To make a lang story short, I kinda fucked it up a lot of times. But I’m still pleased with the fact, that i have one of the most important people in my life still. 

What I wanted to say about that, is, a day, where we were hanging out at my place, she said to me ” you have to watch this dude Shane Dawson” and of first, I was like .. Who? Youtube, wtf is that? 
I didn’t really know what a great world she actually made me be apart of, I never really saw ” that side” of Youtube before. We sat for hours watch Shane, and I kept watching after she left. 
I found a world of people, who has and maybe was, suicidal and .. Was just as fuckt up as me  
Since that time, I have never left the youtubers. 

After many years, I constantly found new people to watch who had something to say, that.. Really inspired me to get better, even when everything was total shit store. 

And after years I still see them, and I keep discover more and more. 

Youtubers helped me get through EVERYTHING I have in my life, and they helped me through everything that’s bad in my life. Whenever they talk, they can get into something inside of me, who….. Just takes everything in? If that makes sense. 

I find myself everyday for hours being able to watch hours of my favorite people in the world, talk and have fun, and helps me to understand how i can help other people, if they ever need someone or something. 

I can truly say, if i haven’t known about them, I haven’t been here today. Being actually happy and get through days, where everything is black and stupid. 

Everything.. Because of my ex girlfriend showed me some funny guy. 
I know she is reading this, and i just really want you to know.. 

No matter where life is putting us both, I will always love you, no matter what. I will always be there for you whenever you need me, and you know that. You gave me such a simple thing, who actually made me wanting to go on, and your parents made you, so I’m great full to have you in my life, I will never let you go again. I’m right here, until the days end. I love you.